Mama said they’ll be days like this!

It’s days like today when I want to throw in the towel. I want to wave my white flag. Throw my hands up and say “I GIVE UP!!!!” Then run out of the house, hop in the car, and drive into the sunset…far far away from here. Because from the time I woke up this morning, into the time I was just putting Ryan to bed, it was a hard day.

We’re going on day 11 of illness for Ry. The day before Thanksgiving, he came down with something. So with that, we’ve only been out of the house maybe 3 times – and one of those was for an emergency visit to Children’s at 1030pm last Thursday due to a seizure. (I’ve gone out more – only after he’s in bed and someones keeping a close listen for him.) So to say he’s going a little stir crazy may be a tiny little understatement. Agreed?

I woke up to snow. The first snow fall of the season on December 4, 2016. Whew! It’s been a nice long fall and I’ve loved the warmer weather into mid November. I understand seasons change – but I. don’t. like. winter. Granted, it’s absolutely beautiful but with winter comes a whole change of new transition health wise for Ry and I don’t like it. Nor do I like the wet, slick, and cold weather. So first thing – snow. OHHH PRETTY!! But ick. Hah!

Since Ry is still fighting his first (and LAST) winter cold of the season, I made the executive decision I was staying home with him (again) so the rest of the family could go to church. All was going great!! He wanted to sit at the kitchen table while I was cleaning and preparing lunch for everyone. I’d interact with him every so often. And then while I was at the stove stirring lunch, I glance at Ry JUST as he face plants chin first. Instant blood everywhere as he bit both the top and bottom part of his tongue. I guess there is a plus for him having an overbite? Boo.

The eating thing has been pretty iffy since then. Not good. Swollen tongue. Open wounds (however the wounds within the mouth heal the fastest than on any other part of the body!). Crankiness from still needing his nose wiped. Tired – not tired. Wants to play. Doesn’t want to play. Good times, really!!! Oye. Mama’s tired.

Even getting to bed tonight. A chore!
Kicking. Hitting me square on the cheek. Then on the forehead. All while I’m stroking his arm and gently taking it away from me as he attempts another swing, I remind him to “use gentle hands” and “be nice to mommy”. And just as I start singing, his whining gets louder. But after making him giggle a bit, I realize that no matter what the day throws at me, no matter what my attitude on the day and everything that’s happened in it, I want to always remember that giggle. The chuckle that we finally have started hearing this past summer. (Who knew when you feel GREAT and start getting the nutrients your body needs, you start feeling better and you can finally LAUGH!! I’m so thankful to be taking these moments in NOW!)

When I want to throw in the towel so many times throughout everyday, I’m now laying next to my boy with his eyes closed realizing something SO huge that I’ve realized many times before – HE IS A BLESSING!!

He is so much of what I need in my life, even with the really, really, really, bad times.

He is everything God knew I needed, and so much more.



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