5 years ago

On September 30, 2008 at 9:43pm – Ryan made his way into this world.

This is NOT the full birth story – you can find that HERE.


Five years ago, we were living in El Paso, Texas.

Five years ago, Britney named the baby boy in my belly.

Five years ago, I had been in the hospital for 24 hours not able to urinate….which is odd since I drank LOTS of water during pregnancy.

Five years ago, I was in the most pain I’ve been in in my life.

Five years ago, I missed being home with my daughter.

31 wks

  Five years ago, I was worried about the baby boy, Ryan, in my belly.

  Five years ago, the nurses tried just one more catheter – after already trying 4 others.9) bags of fluid because the doctor thought I was dehydrated.

  Five years ago, I had to take my socks and jewelry off because my body was so hydrated….but was not getting rid of the extra fluid.

Five years ago, I was given medication that made me loopy and sleepy but I wasn’t in pain.


Five years ago, I was rushed into an emergency c-section.

Five years ago, I spoke to my mom who was in Wisconsin, who wanted nothing more than to be with me.

Five years ago, I was given an epidural.

Five years ago, our whole world changed forever.


Five years ago, I gave birth to my son. My Ryan. My “little King”.

Five years ago, the only sound I heard after Ryan’s birth was the commotion of doctors, nurses, and panic.

Five years ago, I hadn’t even had just one more glimpse of my son before he was rushed to the NICU.


Five years ago, I kissed my son just one more time before the doctor took him to the surrounding nurses that were ready to care for him.

Five years ago, I had a baby and didn’t even know what his cry sounded like.

Five years ago, I waited in worry and wonder for the health of my son.


Five years ago, I was still waiting for the catheter bag to fill with the fluid that was still being pumped into me…and it had been 36 hours since I last urinated.

Five years ago, I was left alone in what seemed to be a quiet hallway of the hospital.

Five years ago, I had my first time ever central line placed in my neck …because I didn’t have just one more available vein.


Five years ago, I wanted nothing more than to hug my daughter.Five years ago, I was scared for my and Ryan’s lives and wanted to give him just one more kiss.

Five years ago, I was in an ICU room alone wondering when I could see my Ryan boy.

Five years ago, I felt empty. Empty belly. Empty arms. Empty crib…and I felt it. No one deserves to feel this empty after birthing a child.


Five years ago, I was wondering how my baby boy was doing so I called the NICU just one more time (lots!!) to check on him.

Five years ago, I went to bed alone, afraid, and in disbelief hoping to wake up in my bed with my son, my Ryan, still in my belly.

Five years ago, I wanted nothing more than my mom and dad to be with me.

Five years ago, I tried to sleep as much as possible but worried what the future held…wondered what tomorrows future held.

Five years ago, I prayed to God for the first time in a very, very, very long time.


Again – for the full birth story, follow that HERE!!

There will be more posted throughout the week – mainly pictures – through the years as my Ryan was and still is amazingly handsome! Stay tuned!!

Thank you for loving and supporting us through the last 5 years!! We really could not have done it without everyone that has come in and out of our lives.



  1. Gma

    5 years ago we almost lost both of you. A lot has happened over those 5 years and today we celebrate! Ryan continues to thrive and is surrounded by the best Mama possible for him. Happy Birthday Ryan Daniel! Love Gma and Papa

    • So much has happened since then…and we couldn’t have done it without you guys!
      Love you Gramma and papa!

  2. Auntie Abby

    damnit robin! i read your blog at the most inopportune times!! as i;m crying in class… ugh! love you all!!!

    • We love you Aunt Abby!
      Where were YOU when YOU found out Ryan was born? 😉

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